


Rewind

by becgnet



Category: Psych
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, M/M, Shassie, Song fic, Wedding, angst ofc, what else do i write come on now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-08 18:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6868381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becgnet/pseuds/becgnet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Shawn smiled as he was supposed to, and left as he was supposed to, and made it to the reception without crying, as he was supposed to, as despite all their differences, Lassiter had made Shawn his Best Man."</p><p>Based off of the song "Satisfied" from Hamilton. I strongly suggest listening to it before or with this, but it's perfectly fine without it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Carlton Lassiter and Marlowe Viccellio had just kissed at the altar, sealing their marriage.

Shawn smiled as he was supposed to, and left as he was supposed to, and made it to the reception without crying, as he was supposed to, as despite all their differences, Lassiter had made Shawn his Best Man. Once Shawn entered the reception, he stood to the side, watching Lassie and Marlowe Viccellio, now Marlowe Lassiter, now dance. The two looked so in love, Shawn could have broken down, but held himself together. His entire life, his job at the police station, had been him putting on an act; he wasn’t about to let that stop just because he was hurting inside. Of course, he couldn’t complain much; no one knew about his love for Lassiter. Gus didn’t even know.

After the first dance, Gus walked to the mic, tapping it, and gathered everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentleman, today, Carlton Lassiter and Marlowe Lassiter have now become one under the beautiful thing that is marriage. I do believe that the Best Man, and my best friend, Shawn Spencer, has a few words he would like to say.”

Spencer smiled and walked up to the podium “Well, Lassie, I am sure am proud of you. You managed to get married before me, nice job buddy,” he said, winking. Lassiter rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide the little smile that made its way onto his face. “Now, at the present time,” Shawn said, raising his glass that was handed to him on the way in, “I would like to a raise a toast. This toast is to the handsome groom and the lovely bride. I wish you two a life of happiness, and may it be full of satisfaction,” Shawn took a drink, before stepping off the podium, and walking to the side of the room. The dances and mingling started up again, Gus found himself with a pretty girl, and Juliet was mingling with some friends. Spencer was lost to the moment.

While lost, his mind faded back to the bar, a little over a year ago, regret filling him.

For this particular night, Lassiter was stressed about a case, to the point Shawn and Gus, through much struggle and shenanigans, had managed to get Lassiter to go out to a bar with them. He remembered all of the ladies, some slightly drunk and some not, dressed nice, as this was certainly no dive bar, but not the best either. It was the type one would dress nicer than typical for, but not one that one would go all out for. As the trio were clean shaven and looking sharp, several were eyeing them.

He remembered seeing Lassie, after a few drinks, relaxed and smiling, a sight that would not soon be forgotten. Shawn finally saw Lassie for his non-work stressed self: the intelligence in his eyes was still there, but his bodily frame, while definitely muscular, looked like it had been starved a little. Lassie probably hadn’t been eating; he never did when he was overly stressed. As Lassie relaxed further into the atmosphere, Shawn noticed the lack of Gus, Unsurprisingly, he was flirting with another girl, clearly both enveloped in the conversation.

Lassie slung his arm around Shawn, leaning on him slightly. Shawn nearly forgot his own name at the moment. Lassiter turned towards Shawn, smiling. “You know Spencer, I’ve known you for a while. You know what you strike me as? Forever unsatisfied.”

Shawn’s mouth went agape for a moment, unsure if Lassie knew the full connotation of what he was saying, before composing himself. “Is that really true, Lassie? I didn’t think you to be so perceptive,” he teased.

Lassie let out a small chuckle, before responding, “I’m the same way, Spencer. I haven’t been satisfied at any point in my life, with anything. I’m always wanting…more,”

Shawn nodded, about to speak, before being interrupted by Lassiter. “So, Spencer, where’s your family from? I know Henry, but, where were you born? Was it in Santa Barbara?” Lassiter asked.

Shawn was shocked by Lassiter’s interest, but chose to respond without showing it. “How about you just check the police records? You know you love too,” he said, smirking a little. Lassiter chuckled again, before responding. “I’ve got to say Spencer, this has helped me relax.”

The two sat and chatted about random things, nothing of really import, but at the same time, it was one of the most intriguing conversations Shawn had ever had. During this conversation, Shawn felt himself confused: he had known he had had a major crush on Lassie for a while, and from the way this relaxed Lassie was acting during this conversation, with the occasional hand brushes, knee bumping, and eye contact, Shawn could almost convince himself that Lassie may just like him too. As it is with cases though, there had to be a catch. Nothing was ever this easy.

The conversation between them lasted two, maybe three minutes before a blonde woman in a red dress passed them by. She dropped her purse next to Shawn, and he picked it up and handed it to her, before turning back to Lassiter.

In a matter of seconds, Shawn’s world changed.

As soon as their eyes met, Shawn noticed the look in Lassiter’s eyes: he was completely helpless. It was obvious he wanted to speak to the woman, but was too shy to approach her.

Shawn quickly got up and walked a few feet to where the woman now stood, looking at her cell phone. During these few steps, Shawn realized three things simultaneously.

Shawn tapped the woman on the shoulder, and smiled. “The name is Shawn Spencer, and you are a very pretty woman. A good friend of mine seems to like you quite a bit, and I don’t see a ring, so do you mind taking a chance, one that could change your life?” he offered, holding out his arm. The woman smiled, before latching on. “My name is Marlowe Viccellio. Go on, lead the way,” she said happily.

Number one: Shawn was an only child. He had no brothers or sisters, and his dad was a shallow man. He wanted biological grandchildren. Of course, he knew his dad would love whatever was provided, but he had constantly disappointed his dad, and his dad often spoke his opinion. He didn’t want his children to feel like a disappointment, too. Of course, this didn’t change his longing for Lassiter to be by his side, forever and always.

As soon as Marlowe was next to Lassiter, Shawn pulled his seat out for her, and motioned for Lassiter to start. “My-uh, my name is Carlton Lassiter. It’s nice to meet you,” he said, offering his hand. Marlowe shook his hand, smiling, “Marlowe Viccellio.”

Number two: Lassiter had hinted that he was queer in the way he acted, but had never acted on it, so to say. For all Shawn knew, this was just how Lassiter acted when he was relaxed. This was the first time he had ever seen it. As good as he was at picking up things, Lassiter had him completely confused. He would have had to have been naïve to set Lassiter’s lack of anything queer aside and still pursue him.

Lassiter continued. “I’m a head detective with the Santa Barbara Police Department. Currently I’m working on a case, and my friend, Spencer, brought me here to relax. I do believe it has worked,” he smiled. Marlowe smiled back, “Well, thank you for all your service.” Taking the hint, Shawn did finger guns, “Well, I do believe that my work here is done. I’ll leave you two to it,” he said, before turning around and walking to the other end of the bar, far out of Lassiter and Marlowe’s view, ordering a shot. He would certainly be drunk tonight.

Number three: Despite how Lassiter had him confused about his sexuality, he knew everything else about the man. He knew him as well as he knew his own mind. He knew that despite his rough outer shell, no one kinder or more willing to love others existed. If he had chosen to go after this woman right now, nothing would happen. Lassiter wouldn’t say anything, and would probably pretend to be happy for him.

Shawn was with Lassiter throughout the entire process. He helped him plan dates, he helped him pick the ring, he helped him pick a suit, and he helped him plan whatever was needed. He thought he would be okay on the wedding day, but he was far from it. Every night since he had introduced the two, whenever he felt as if he needed someone to cuddle, or needed someone to talk to, or needed to not feel alone, he would always pretend Lassiter was with him. Even his dirtier thoughts led straight back to Lassiter. If only he had been selfish like he usually was, if he only he had ignored the longing in Lassie’s eyes, there wouldn’t be a problem. At least, though, he was still working for the SBPD, so Lassie’s eyes would still be in his life.

Instead, here he stood on the wedding day, in the corner of the room, hearing his own words echo in his head:

“I would like to a raise a toast. This toast is to the handsome groom and the lovely bride. I wish you two a life of happiness, and may it be full of satisfaction.”

As the reception ended, and Marlowe left the dance hall, Shawn looked up just in time to meet eyes with Lassiter, and it was then he had yet another of one of his many revelations:

He had been right, that night at the bar. Lassiter had wanted him.

However, Lassiter was also right:

Both of them would remain forever unsatisfied.


	2. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set seven years later. Based off of the cut song "Congratulations", also from Hamilton.

Marlowe stormed out of her and Lassiter’s apartment just as Shawn stormed in. On his way in, Shawn saw Marlowe’s tear stricken face, her expression a mix of sadness, anger, betrayal, and no chance of forgiveness.

Shawn caught the door before it closed and slammed it shut after entering, almost running into Lassiter. He pushed him backwards, before giving him a look of anger and disbelief.

Lassiter looked up after catching himself from falling. “Spencer?” he asked, in shock.

“Congratulations, Lassie!” Shawn said sarcastically. “You finally made your big break! You invented something, and I bet you know what: a whole new kind of stupid!” Shawn nearly yelled.

Without giving Lassiter a chance to speak, Shawn continued.

“Seriously, buddy, what you just did? That’s damage you can never undo. You clearly didn’t think this through, it’s that obvious. That’s how stupid of a decision you made. Just in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me just give you a quick little review: there was a rumor that you were conspiring with a criminal, maybe two or three people knew at max about this rumor. Just to save your face, once again, about a petty rumor, you admitted to cheating on your wife of seven years on Facebook, in fact, you didn’t just admit it, you practically wrote a novel about it! One person out of those three made a poor threat at blackmailing you, but man, you played yourself! Do you know why I can do stupid and silly things without fear? Because, Lassie, I don’t give minor threats that people give me any response! So once again Lassiter, congratulations! You messed up a perfectly good thing you had going.”  


“Shawn,” Lassiter tried to interrupt, but was cut off by Shawn.

“You’ve messed up your entire life, I can’t believe you! You certainly don’t seem too upset by this, though, meanwhile, your wife is running out of the place crying!”

This time, Lassiter was successful in his attempt to speak.

“It was an attempt at protecting my legacy and everything I’ve worked for! It was a sacrifice, Spencer, not that you would understand,” Lassiter screamed at him, eyes full of anger.

“Not understand?” Shawn said incredulously, “Not understand?! I married Juliet, and don’t get me wrong she’s a lovely girl, but there is no love in our marriage. The only thing I lived for, for quite a while, is seeing you at work every single day. Now that I’m alone with you for the first time in ages, the only thing I can think is ‘what the hell have we done with our lives?’ It doesn’t change the nights I spent longing for you instead of Juliet, or the tears I shed on your wedding night, but I’m back, and let me tell you something Carlton.”

Lassiter spoke above Shawn, trying to get a word in, “Spencer!”

Shawn raised his own voice in response, not allowing Lassiter to defend himself.  

“I am no longer here for you! I know Marlowe, we’re actually pretty good friends now, and Lassiter, you will never, no matter how hard you try, find anyone as trusting or as kind as she. The night you two met, when you first saw her, I saw your eyes. Lassie, you looked helpless. You know I wanted you, I’ve always wanted you, but I stood back. Do you want to know why? Let me tell you why, Lassie. I loved you more than anything, so much that I was willing to choose your happiness over my own, no matter what. Marlowe was the best thing in your life and has been for the past seven years. Don’t you ever forget that you were blessed with the best wife anyone could have ever had. From now on, every single thing you do will be for her. Every sacrifice you make will be for her, do you understand?”

Shawn turned around, and reached for the door handle, leaving Lassiter speechless.

“Congratulations,” Shawn sneered, before slamming the door shut and heading after Marlowe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised a happy Shassie fic, and obviously, this isn't it. However, there WILL be one. I'm writing and posting it tomorrow, and it will be fluffy and adorable. For now, here's more angst, because that's my specialty.

**Author's Note:**

> haha why do i do this


End file.
